Poems Page - From www.HumNRI.com

Sunday August 26, 2007

Alone

I'm having a mental breakdown
my life is falling apart.
It's so lonely living here
with only half a heart.
The walls surrounding me still stand
but my world is crashing down.
It's hard to wear a smile
while your heart bears a frown.
It seems like the worlds against me
Even more so than before.
This time i'm on my own.
You can't fight for me anymore.
All my strength left when i left you
it's a wonder i make it through the day
I live for you Alan
and for you, I will stay.
It doesn't make it hurt any less
knowing I'll see you again
Because for now I am alone
and I will be until then.

3 I'll see you soon, Love

Posted by fallinlove at 8:22 PM

3 Comments

Sunday August 26, 2007

It's Hard

it's hard to hide the pain
as tears swell in my eyes
with every rejection you throw at me
another part of me dies.
it's hard to fill the passing time
every minute i spend without you
this whole mess is a nighhtmare
please, tell me this isn't true.
it's hard to live in this emptiness
with a soul without it's mate.
Babe, it's been so hard without you
but before long we won't have to wait.
it's hard to wake up in the morning
knowing it won't be your face i see
it's hard being so damn far away
and worrying that you'll leave me.
It gets hard to make it through each day
but it's even worse at night
I have to keep my faith in you
I know you'll come and make things right.
It's too hard to live without you, Love
i need you here with me
i swear you're the only thing in this world
that truly makes me happy.
These tears are flooding my cheeks now
i think that i should go
back into this world without you
while time tracks on slow.

Posted by fallinlove at 8:11 PM

0 Comments

Monday August 13, 2007

Damn Memory

I lay in your arms
In the protected circle of your embrace
The hour hand moves slowly
And I think of things I can not bear to face.
Torturing thoughts tease at my mind
Even though I know they will never be true
It scares me it’s on my mind
But it’s not because of you.
Memories are my enemy
For that’s what you expect me to be
I know I’m not that little girl anymore
I just want to be Happy.
Memories are my enemy
For all the damning hurt they hold.
For all the lies turned upside down
Because the truth had to be told.
But memories are my sanctuary
When my life is hard to bear
Because I can count on you holding me
And forever being there.

Posted by fallinlove at 11:21 PM

2 Comments

Tuesday August 14, 2007

Burning Love

I hear my heart beat in my ears
Nothing else is within hearing.
I see your outline walk away
Just now disappearing.
My anger has dissipated some since
The last time we tried to communicate.
Like a raging fire it scorched your touch
And I needed some time I need you to wait.
You come back and see me waiting
It puts a smile on your face
Until you see my drying tear tracks
Of which your finger then does trace.
Frustration causes my eyes to leak
I know you take it as a sign I'm weak
I wipe furiously at these falling tears
Trying to find my voice so I may speak.
You know that you're the one for me
There will never be another.
The flames from my burning heart lick at you
And your reaction is to smother.
I don't blame you for your impatience
Or the way you counteract to pain
As long as you come back to me, as you have
The fire will cease but my love
will never wane.

Posted by fallinlove at 7:20 PM

0 Comments

Tuesday August 14, 2007

Failure

I'm sitting here without you
Becoming lost in thought
I wonder if you mean this love
If this is truly what you've sought.
I know I can be a let down
And I know I get hard to be around
I know that you'll love me despite that
But in these doubts, I start to drown.
Am I really a failure to you?
Do you mean all those angry words you say?
I'm afraid my inadequacy will end us
I don't want us to turn out that way.
Circles they ring around me
Words flowing through my mind
I'm afraid if I wait too long to
Confront this
You may decide to leave me behind.
I couldn't live my life without you
It's just as much yours as mine.
I have to find a way to purge these words,
With my heart out on the line.

Posted by fallinlove at 7:21 PM

1 Comments

Wednesday August 15, 2007

Promises

Hey babe this is for you
For the days the sun could not show through
For the times you say you love me
And I say that it’s not true.
I want you to remember
I’ll always love you.
For the times I’ve been unreasonable
And have said things I don’t mean
You stood there understanding
But in your eyes I saw a gleam.
I’ve done stupid things
And I’ve said stupid shit
I’m telling you I’m Sorry
And I was wrong, I do admit
I never meant to make you hate me
In any sort of way
But sometimes I’m tortured with my mind
And I regret the things I say.
I wish I didn’t take things out on you
You’re always there to take the heat
I feel really bad for it
And I understand why you retreat.
I love you with all of me
It would kill me to have to watch you go
I’ll do anything to be with you
Whatever it takes, just let me know.
I am truly sorry for how things have been
I’ll do my best to make this right
These are promises I’m making to you
It’s not just something I decided to write.
I have to get some sleep now
But I’ll see you when I wake
We can start a new day
And I can show you our love is no mistake.

Posted by fallinlove at 11:39 PM

2 Comments

Sunday July 15, 2007

Don't Leave

My heart is breaking and you
Hold it in your hand
Maybe if you wouldn’t squeeze quite so hard
The hurt would be easier to stand.
You just don’t get me
I thought just yesterday you could read my mind
Do you see the tears forming in my eyes?
They wouldn’t be there if you’d just be kind.
I’m not saying you’re a bad person
You’re the nicest person I know
But you have a way of grabbing my emotions
And not knowing how to let go.
I know it’s because I love you
That’s exactly why we’re fighting now.
You do and say things that hurt me
And I’m just left wondering how.
Really I know
I’ve been there too
But I don’t want to be now
I just want it to be as simple as me loving you.
So grab my hand, hold me close as you can
It’s times like this I’m too cold to feel the love
Give me hope through the warmth of your strength
Instead of giving me a steadfast shove.
I told you to never let me go
No matter how convincing I may be
Because I never really want to leave
And I never really want you to leave me.

Posted by fallinlove at 2:18 AM

3 Comments

Friday July 20, 2007

It's True

Okay, so the world's not out to get me
everyone isn't planning my demise
i used to hate waking up in the morning
but i appreciate the sunrise.
my heart rarely gets a sinking feeling
my smiling muscles get their chance to shine
my soul has it's mate and proof
this love is mine.
Sadness, loneliness, it doesn't overtake me
I've never felt so happy before.
It's like i've found a hidden room
that i can't wait to explore.
I'm looking forward to the years ahead,
knowing you'll be there.
I have to admit how well we work
we are the perfect pair.
this love is everlasting
and what better way to prove it?
I'll love being with you forever
this yearning for you will never quit.
i treasure these moments
just being with you.
I treasure our love.
That will always be true.

Posted by fallinlove at 1:45 AM

2 Comments

Wednesday July 25, 2007

For All of Time

We’ll have each other
When everything else has fallen apart
As our worlds collide and surrender to this love
It’s a matter of the heart.
All thoughts cease
When I gaze into your eyes
Feeling your arms around me
As together we watch the sun rise.
Nothing could replace this feeling
Or complete me like you do
I can’t see my self doing anything other
Than spending my life with you.
I have an eternity to look forward to
With you strong by my side
I once thought we lost what we had
But our love for each other has never died.
I will never leave you behind, my love
It’s you and me from here on out
I’ll stand by you for all of time
And prove wrong your unforgettable doubt.

Posted by fallinlove at 11:36 PM

1 Comments

Saturday July 28, 2007

This Love is for Forever

You’re the love of my life
And I won’t let you go
Sometimes my emotions get the best of me
And they come in tides until the overflow.
I know you love me
And you’re love will stay true
No matter how much I act like I don’t care
I only care for you.
You came into my life so unexpectedly
I’ve always known you were ‘the one’
I find comfort knowing at the end of the day
I have your love after all is said and done.
Forever and Always
I will be by your side
To comfort you
And ebb the tide.

Posted by fallinlove at 2:51 AM

1 Comments

Thursday August 02, 2007

Save Me

I look for your arms
To wrap around me
I look for your touch
To set this tension free
I look for you,
But it’s you I don’t see.
I see my mom
I hear her yells
This clock has to be wrong
In the time it tells.
Please tell me I’m not really here
I’m really with you
But no matter how much I wish
I know this is true.
I’m wishing for a better life
She’s driving me insane
But if I could see you
It would take away all this pain.
And so I look for your arms
To wrap around me
I look for your touch
To set this tension free
I look for you,
Because you make me happy.

Posted by fallinlove at 2:11 PM

0 Comments

Saturday August 04, 2007

Save Me

I look for your arms
To wrap around me
I look for your touch
To set this tension free
I look for you,
But it's you I don't see.
I see my mom
I hear her yells
This clock has to be wrong
In the time it tells.
Please tell me I'm not really here
I'm really with you
But no matter how much I wish
I know this is true.
I'm wishing for a better life
She's driving me insane
But if I could see you
It would take away all this pain.
And so I look for your arms
To wrap around me
I look for your touch
To set this tension free
I look for you,
Because you make me happy.

Posted by fallinlove at 1:41 AM

0 Comments

Wednesday August 08, 2007

Some Words

Vulnerability is not a friend of mine
Although we’ve made acquaintance
I don’t like not knowing fate
But our life is worth the chance
When I was younger I did not understand this love
I could not say that I do even now
But I’ve taken your love blindly
Given up second guessing and pondering how
I know what I feel inside of me
When I see you after a lonely night
Or when you say the perfect thing
When the timing is just right
I love you more than anything
I’ve always known you were a part of me
We have a love that’s hard to hide
It’s crystal clear for everyone to see.
This love is for forever
My heart will always belong to you
And my spirits lift because I can let go
Of the mistrust you seem to have crashed into.

Posted by fallinlove at 11:36 PM

3 Comments

Monday August 13, 2007

Together

There are not enough hours in the day
To simply contain my love for you.
Every moment of my life I’m devoted
To this love that has found me,
So strong and true.
There will never be a morning, I won’t
Want to wake up by your side
Nor a night where I regret this love
For it reaches far and wide.
Whatever emptiness I felt inside
Was filled by the greatest gift of all
Love has found us and on my darkest nights
I know you’re beside me standing tall.
There has and will never be a greater
Chemistry between myself and another as
There is between you and me.
I would not be me, without you
Because you complete me in a way that
No one else could ever
And I hang on to that thread of certainty
When we are both red faced and my mind screams
For this to sever.
My heart knows this love, and welcomes it’s waves
No matter how hurting it may be when it caves
I’ll stay by your side, and we’ll make it through.
Through anything because this love is ours
And I couldn’t live it without you.

Posted by fallinlove at 1:06 AM

0 Comments

Monday May 21, 2007

Fade Away

Pieces of my past
Stay with me
While the rest just
Fades away
It’s a way of coping
While living life
Day after day.
Sometimes my present
Is faded
And I relive moments
In time when I
Felt jaded.
I hated myself
And maybe still do
I haven’t overcome
What life pushed me into.
True, I take part of
The blame for the
Disasters around me
But life has it’s twists
And you get a ride for free.
Well, maybe not completely.
There’s always a price
For anything to pay
I just think it would be nice
For everything to
Fade away.

Posted by fallinlove at 11:58 PM

1 Comments

Sunday June 10, 2007

Time

My heart beats wildly
As I hear an echo of defeat.
I walk away swifly,
Half running down the street.
I need your love to keep me strong
But I left it way back there.
I'm running from the truth.
I run because I care.
Don't make me say those awful words,
They'll make your heart drop just as mine.
I guess I just need some time to think,
I'll come back when I'm really fine.
Don't push me when I feel like this,
I can't take it much more.
If you need someone to kiss your wounds,
Go ahead and call your whore.
My pride takes flight with every step,
I always end up running back to you.
I guess that's why I believe in my heart,
And I believe our love will remain true.
But still now I need the time,
To accept all that you have said.
When I return, all will be well
And the argument will be dead.

Posted by fallinlove at 12:24 PM

0 Comments

Sunday June 10, 2007

Storms

Your eyes are mesmerizing
I lose myself in your touch
Your hand guides mine through
Troublesome times
When alone it is too much.
When I am lost, I follow your love
And it leads me back to you.
When I'm confused I know our bond
Is undoubtedly true.
Fate kept interlacing our lives
When we tried to stay apart
Now that we're together again
It's a matter of the heart.
My mind wouldn't let me forget you
My love for you would never stop
If ever I heard your name
Unconsciously I would eavesdrop.
Storms have clouded our past
Tears have fallen as rain
But if I ever had to live without you
I believe I'd go insane.
You complete me and you always have
Despite all the stormy weather
Don't ever let go of my love
And we'll always be together.

Posted by fallinlove at 12:26 PM

7 Comments

Friday June 15, 2007

Questions

I saw your face in my dreams
When I never thought I’d see you again.
You say that I don’t care for you
Like I cared for you then.
I’m here to tell you it’s the truth
Because now I care so much more
And I just want you to know that,
Before again you slam that door.
Please stop yelling, babe
Just tell me what’s wrong
I know in my heart it’s me
I’ve known it all along.
Am I not what you wanted?
What you yearned for while I was away?
What was missing in your life,
That you prayed for everyday?
Am I not the woman you want to
Be your wife?
To be there for you,
For the rest of your life?
If I’m not,
Than this shouldn’t have began
Because for me,
You are that man.

Posted by fallinlove at 12:24 AM

1 Comments

Friday June 15, 2007

Alone in Darkness

Once lonely in the darkness
I felt so alone
You brought light into my world
And a love I’ve never known.
Once lonely in the darkness
I grew a hole inside of me.
I thought it would never go away
And then you made me happy.
I was once lonely in the darkness
But then you showed me how you cared
You took me in your arms and held me
You allowed my pain to be shared.
I was hollow inside and bitter from
All the nights I had cried
Alone in my bed with terrible
Thoughts in my head
Wishing I had died.
And I tried.
I was once alone in darkness
But you pushed me to the light
I don’t feel those awful things now
Because everything is all right.

Posted by fallinlove at 1:50 AM

1 Comments

Tuesday June 19, 2007

i could sing

My heart is tapping out a love song
There’s rhythm in my soul.
I’m reunited with my other half
And suddenly I’m whole.
My words may be cliché
But it’s the truth inside.
I feel this love so strong
When I had thought it died.
Now I feel my spirits lift
And at last I feel happy.
I won’t lose sight of this love again,
That’s a guarantee.
Leave the past in the past,
Forgive what’s not forgiven.
Let things be wonderful,
Just like they have been.

Posted by fallinlove at 11:35 PM

1 Comments

Wednesday June 20, 2007

SoulMate

You told me we were soul mates
As if I didn’t know,
This love is something different
Something hard to let go.
I used to lie awake nights
Trying to run you out of my head
Things are so much better now that
I accept your love instead.
You holding my hand
Puts a smile on my face
And the way I feel inside
No other man could replace.
You are my sunshine, my other half,
My soulmate.
We fit together and for me
You’ll never be second rate.
I love you Alan
You mean the world to me.
Hope for the best
And soon that’s how it’ll be.

Posted by fallinlove at 7:15 PM

2 Comments

Wednesday June 20, 2007

Okay

Suddenly life’s changing
I appreciate the day
I don’t mind waking up anymore
Things seem to be okay.
No thoughts of suicide
I’m staying here on earth.
You’d be surprised
What a little love is worth.
To have someone to be there,
To carry you when you can’t go on,
To lift your spirits,
When you become withdrawn.
I never thought I’d get out of that depression
I was worried my smiles would never be real
But love has overtaken me
And the happiness I feel is surreal.
I’m looking forward to the future
And seeing my love everyday
I sometimes things won’t be peachy
But it’ll all turn out okay.

Posted by fallinlove at 11:10 PM

3 Comments

Friday June 22, 2007

This isn't It

I gave you my all
And you took it all away
It’s strange but I’m doing
Just fine today
Maybe because I don’t believe
This is really the end
There’s going to be curbs in our relationship
This is just another bend.
I can tell we can make this work
By how happy you can make me feel
But sometimes I feel downright awful
And I question if this is real.
Sometimes I can sense
That you don’t want to be with me
You can say what you want
I already know you’d disagree.
But you aren’t always really with me
You know that I can tell
It scared a part of you
So you fought until I fell.
You used to never let me leave
But you let that part of you go
And now every time I know you’re not coming
It’s just another blow.
My heart sinks when I think of
All the times we’d shout
It made me think you didn’t care
When you didn’t want to work it out.
The hurtful things you’ve said to me
Have made me feel like shit
But you’d have to think me a fool
If I believed that this was it.

Posted by fallinlove at 5:46 PM

9 Comments

Tuesday June 26, 2007

Forget It

things haven't always been easy
i thought you were by my side
when i found out you strayed
i almost wished you would have lied.
you caught me by surprise
i thought our love was concrete
but i won't be brought down
because of your deceit.
My love for you remains strong
we all make mistakes every now and then.
as long as i know you'd never
make the same one again.
I have to admit
it's made me slightly paranoid
you brought a heartache
i didn't have the chance to avoid.
it's something i'll get over
and try to forget
swallowing my anger like the blood
from the tongue i've bit.
don't try to make me something perfect
it's something i will never be
don't upset me anymore, love
let's forget it and be happy.

Posted by fallinlove at 11:57 PM

0 Comments

Wednesday June 27, 2007

Opposing

tears have fallen,
fears have surfaced,
memories have returned,
i never knew i missed.
the stars shine brighter,
the sun beats red on my back.
i find a place of peace,
but everything else is out of whack.
without evil, there would be no good.
without being wrong, there would be no right.
there is no yang, if not for yin
and no peace without a fight.
You can't have light if there was no dark
you would know no joy if not for misery.
if you never before felt caged
you'd never know the feeling of being free.
If you don't love, you can't break
anything except the love you throw away
if you don't love though, you lose out
because it's the night that brings the day.

Posted by fallinlove at 12:43 AM

2 Comments

Friday June 29, 2007

Tomorrow

My eyes are closing
I’m falling asleep
The dreams aren’t coming
Fuck counting sheep.
I’m thinking of you
And all you mean to me
I’m thinking I love you,
I Love You.
My head’s growing heavy
I’ll sleep like a rock
Memories come and go
With the tick of the clock.
I think I can trust you
Don’t worry about me there
I know you trust me
I know you really care.
Things will only get better
And how much better could they be?
I don’t know if it’s possible
But tomorrow we can see.

Posted by fallinlove at 2:53 AM

2 Comments

Saturday July 07, 2007

a little wait

I’m counting down the days
Relishing in the minutes
Until my life is set free
And my love life fits.
I’m tired of the back and forth
I’m sick of sleeping alone.
I don’t want to fight so I hide
Behind the cover I’ve blown.
She’s been really moody
It might be her meds,
But her life has unwove recently
Spreading like threads.
She needs something to hold on to,
A rock to keep her grounded.
Neither one of us can feel the love
But we know that we’re surrounded.
I think I’m going crazy
I think I need some air
I think she should take a breath too
And maybe get out of my hair.
If she could just take a step back
Things could improve
But I’ve found that she’s reluctant to change
And I know she’s not going to move.
Make your life your own right?
Well it turns out you have to wait.
They lay down the law and it’s
Not up for debate.

Posted by fallinlove at 1:30 AM

2 Comments

Thursday July 12, 2007

Over it

It’s all over now
I know that inside
But it doesn’t make me forget
You gave my boyfriend one last ride.
I know you think this “immature”
But you have to know I’m affected.
You broke the shield of armor around my trust
And disturbed a love I thought protected.
Unlike you, I haven’t been through it before
I never expected something so wrong from someone I love.
I’m trying to say my emotions are unpredictable
So I’d keep a watch on that avalanche you shove.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this
It’s over and you’re nothing to him nor I
But I guess I should let you know
He’s already said his good-bye.
You were a big mistake
And after today you don’t exist
You had your chance to make amends
And what a chance you missed.
We’ll go on happy
So go ahead and sing the woe is you
You only ever gave a shit about him
Until you found yourself someone new.
If anything, you made our love stronger
You showed him how much he cares for me
He wanted laid, and he knew where to go
An easy fuck is the memory you will forever be.
This is it, it’s the last piece
It doesn’t affect me anymore
I don’t know why it did to begin with
afterall, what do I have to be jealous for?

Posted by fallinlove at 1:11 AM

4 Comments

Saturday July 14, 2007

Dream

It’s late
And I should get some sleep
I know when I finally do
My dreams will be deep.
I’ll be dreaming of you, love
If all goes as planned
Hopefully of the future
With a warm sunny beach and hot sand.
I can’t wait until December
We’re getting out of this hole
I’m looking forward to it
With all my heart and soul.
There’s so much more to do
And so much more to see
I don’t have to take a guess,
I know that we’ll be happy.
Little more than five months
And we’re going to be on our way.
It’s too bad we have to wait
Or we could just leave today.
I should learn to be more patient
I already know it’s true
But the thought is so enticing,
I can’t wait to spend my life with you.
So, I’ll settle for that dream now
Until reality kicks in
Then we can see if we can match
How happy these days have been.

Posted by fallinlove at 1:34 AM

1 Comments

Sunday July 15, 2007

Vent

Blood boils in my veins
I envision hurting you and it scares me
I know my cheeks are enflamed
I’m afraid to let this anger roam free.
I can’t listen to you anymore
I’m stuck standing still
You’ve infuriated me so much
I feel like I could kill.
Then you come in for a kiss
And it’s all that I could take
Things aren’t magically better
And still won’t be when I wake.
Why would you want to do this to me?
How can you look me in the eye?
You say ‘fuck you’ and slam the door
So I guess this is good-bye?
Now a little while later
I think back on the situation
The events that caused events
That only cause more frustration.
If only you would listen
Even when you don’t want to hear
You might find I speak the truth
And what I do say is sincere.
You close off all other voices
Until all you can hear is your own
Cursing and red faced you stare at me in disbelief
Your thoughts to me, unknown.

Posted by fallinlove at 1:51 AM

0 Comments

Monday January 29, 2007

Take Me Away (4-06)

Take me away
from this place where nothing
is as it seems
take me away
from all these hollow dreams
take me away
where this unwanted pain won't follow
take me away
from this feeling that I'm hollow
take me away
from where things appear to be great
Take me away
because beneath it all there is always hate
take me away
where i can find my true face
take me away
some where far from this place.

Posted by fallinlove at 9:53 PM

2 Comments

Monday January 29, 2007

Retreating

I've been writing of my pain
Of things i've lost
My heart has grown cold
It’s starting to frost.

I can’t find the warmth
It seems I once had
I know deep down
Things aren’t that bad.

I’m still here breathing
I am alive
I can get past this
I have to, to survive.

Shutting doors, erasing pain
It’s wearing on my mind
Turns out it’s not that easy
To leave some things behind…

I just can’t stand this darkness
The feeling I’m alone
Although really I am,
This battle is my own.

And so I sit in silence
Closing out it all
Retreating into my mind
To sit by my waterfall.

Secluded, my own
Surrounded by tall green trees
I sit on that sunny rock
And listen to the breeze.

I see little fish through clear water
Exotic animals here and there
It’s here I find my peace
Where I don’t have to care.

Posted by fallinlove at 10:57 PM

7 Comments

Wednesday January 31, 2007

Looking Back

what if your in love with someone, you break-up, and all of a sudden this girl comes out of nowhere and just makes you forget the one you love... confusing..

This line struck my heart
Though it was written over 2 years ago
It’s my ex that wrote it
And I’m the one he forgot and let go.

Though he didn’t really do it,
He couldn’t erase me from his mind
He tried to come back and make amends
But my heart was no longer his to find.

Our relationship was rocky
We broke up so much…
But whenever I was down
He was always willing to be my crutch.

As it turns out, I still love him
Somewhere deep inside
But now I know my limits
And in his arms I cannot hide.

I had to learn to live without him
It was so tempting to take him back
But I had moved forward so much already
It wasn’t right to fall off track.

Sometimes I wonder how it could have been
Had I let him back in
I would never act upon it though
Because it would be my greatest sin.

And so I remember memories
That I can carry with me forever
And in doing that,
We’ll always be together.

I don’t regret my decision
I think I did the right thing
I found love in another
And all the happiness he could bring.

Posted by fallinlove at 3:33 PM

3 Comments

Saturday February 03, 2007

Gone

A guttural sound surrounds me
i recognize it as my own
so many people surround me
but Ive never felt so alone

i dont want to believe what Ive been told
dont want to believe you're gone
dont want to believe ill be living without you
from here and from there on

time has no meaning
the distant ticking of a clock is merely sound
feeling is no longer physical
only emotions are profound

my mind is reeling
not wanting to understand
my world goes black...
I'm reaching for your hand

Posted by fallinlove at 6:40 PM

2 Comments

Sunday February 04, 2007

Too Late

the end is nearing
i feel it with every beat
every smile i had to force
will end with my defeat.

every let down ive ever endured
every tear that had to drop in pain
everytime i felt a failure
for the happiness i could never attain

it will all be over soon
with every beat of my heart
because very soon
it's my time to depart.

there's blood all around me
i never thought i'd go this way
i'll never see tomorrow
i'm done living today.

No more crying
no more tears
i've just wasted away
all these years.

i'm almost free
i can feel it burn
i'll be past this life soon
never to return.

I'm sorry all those i love, have loved
and will never get the chance to
this is just something
i couldn't help but do.

all the anger, hurt, and
darkness within me
all the tears and pain
that left me empty

i couldn't fix
i cannot live here anymore
i'm not strong enough to deal with
all i have to endure

fatigue sets in
so i lay down
not too long now
and i'll be resting under ground.

Posted by fallinlove at 2:06 PM

4 Comments

Wednesday February 07, 2007

Mom

Whenever i am hurt
you're there to share my pain
when i am happy
you're there to share my joy
you help me up when i am down
and you've helped build a love
nothing can destroy
you taught me to pursue passions
and bailed me out whenever i took a wrong turn
you teach me skillful lessons
and day-by-day
i learn.
you have my trust forever
my love to go along
because it was only you who raised me
and taught me right from wrong.
you're a remarkable person
truly one of a kind
if someone fails to see that
they really must be blind.
you always thought of your kids before anything
you're a great mom through and through
and if you ever think otherwise
just know that
i love you.

Posted by fallinlove at 9:44 PM

8 Comments

Monday February 12, 2007

Mom (2)

You're doing what i told myself i wouldn't let you do
I'm in pain I'm at a loss
I'm breaking down and its all because of you.

you're words are like a knife
stabbing me in the heart
but the thought of living without you
tears me apart.

Sometimes when you're angry with me
i can see hatred in your eyes
and it eats at my mind as to whether or not
i should say my goodbyes.

I dont want to leave you
you were always there for me before
but lately you've been hateful
and i cant take it anymore.

Posted by fallinlove at 12:14 AM

1 Comments

Monday February 12, 2007

Desolation (2006)

Filled with desolation
tears rain from my eyes
ready to give up this fight
which comes as no surprise.
yearning and longing
to be rid of this pain
but no outlet works
and slowly i go insane
emotional and weary
i lay down in bed
wondering if the pain would cease
if only i was dead.
but i cant let go
i have to see about tomorrow
waiting on the day
that will end my sorrow.

Posted by fallinlove at 12:16 AM

5 Comments

Tuesday February 13, 2007

No One Knows

Treachery and lies
heartbreak and silent cries
torment behind these grey/blue eyes
way too many early good-byes

loss of memory
loss of faith
only things that keep me safe

from myself
from the rest of human kind
my own person
of my own mind

living day by day
in my own private hell
dying slowly on the inside
and no one can tell.

Posted by fallinlove at 1:08 PM

11 Comments

Thursday February 15, 2007

Death

A shadow casts upon my soul
creeping blackness swallows me whole
emptiness tortures the part of me that lives
knocking me down like sedatives
broken memories flash behind my eyes
that stop me in my tracks and hypnotize
trying to bring him back to life inside my head
i can't accept that he's really dead.
I saw the body
heard the preacher preach
all the while reality
wasn't within reach.
I know I'm depressed
sinking farther down
and still i hide the hurt
until no ones around.
Suffering in sadness
drowning in tears of pain
replaying these damn memories
where he will forever remain...

Posted by fallinlove at 5:46 PM

1 Comments

Thursday February 15, 2007

There She Goes

There she goes again
screaming into my face
saying hateful things
my mind can not erase
there she goes again
leaving pain and tears in her wake
she's already shattered my heart,
now it's my soul she's trying to break.
there she goes again
without looking back
maybe she has a destination in mind
or maybe she doesn't want to watch
as my eye swells and turns black.
there she goes again
the last person i expected to hurt me
but there she goes,
and she still hasn't broken me completely.

Posted by fallinlove at 5:54 PM

4 Comments

Tuesday February 20, 2007

day one

It's day one of ninety one
and you're already gone
you told me you would write everyday
and for me not to move on.
you say you're doing this for us
and all that we could be
but I'm just not seeing yet
how you thought of me.
you knew i didn't want you to go
but you felt you had no choice
leaving me with none
you could not hear my voice.
so now i have to wait for you
yet again
while you start at the beginning that
has no end.

Posted by fallinlove at 2:44 PM

1 Comments

Saturday March 03, 2007

No one

The sun is fading behind a grey cloud
i used to know so many people and now
there is no 'crowd'.
no one to talk to when I'm feeling defeated
no one to walk beside me when times are bad
everyone i once knew has already retreated
and so there's no one that will look in my eyes and see I'm sad.
No one to bring me back to life
i can't do it on my own
No one to see these silent tears
as i battle it all, alone.
No one's here to say it'll all be okay
to hold my world up when it starts to fall
here alone, i battle myself
refusing to lose it all.

Posted by fallinlove at 12:53 AM

6 Comments

Sunday March 11, 2007

Is It True?

When I’m down and can’t pick myself up
I look into your eyes and for a moment
Everything is good.
There are times I feel insecure
And feel like I don’t love you like
I should.
But you’re always there for me
You always have been…

Is it true all the things you feel for me?
Can you feel it in your heart?
Am I really the one for you?
Or just a fragile start?

It hasn’t been that long now
Not compared to life
Only a few years and you’re sure
I’ll someday be your wife?

In the long run this is nothing
Your loneliness has a cure
You don’t have to stay with me
Because of your need to feel secure.

I don’t want another broken heart
So if this isn’t real just let go
If you feel trapped,
Please, just let me know

I really think I’m in love
I think we could make it through
I just need to know if your
Love is true…

Posted by fallinlove at 9:38 PM

3 Comments

Thursday March 15, 2007

Strength

I remember when it started
Oh say 7 months ago
The beginning of another depression
That’s drug on ever so slow.

I’m searching for the strength
To lift my chin up high
But mostly for the strength
To finally say good-bye.

The past rests on my shoulders
Always bringing me down
I hate hiding tears
Praying no one is around.

I feel like I’m losing myself
And that is never good
Thinking things again
I never thought I would.

It’s time to let it all go now
Accept, adapt, and move on
It’s time to live again
The past is gone.

Posted by fallinlove at 9:54 PM

1 Comments

Friday March 16, 2007

Inside my head

I promised myself
Life over death
But at the end of the day
Really what is left?

Its been another shitty day
Another shitty mood
I don’t want to be a bitch
I’m sorry when If I’ve been rude

But I don’t know how much more
Of this I can take
I’m starting to wish again
To sleep and never wake

I don’t want to die
Don’t get me wrong
I just don’t want to be where I am
I’m unable to be strong

Wishing for another life
Is not how I want to live
And god help me
I don’t have much to give

I feel alone
And out of place
And now I’m thinking
I’m just a waste of space

But I’m not going to give up
I’ll wake up again tomorrow
Hoping for a better day
To be rid of this sorrow

One day I’ll die.
One day I’ll be dead
But until that day
I’ll work it out inside my head.

Posted by fallinlove at 3:09 PM

4 Comments

Sunday March 18, 2007

Quote

"Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given, never forgotten, never let it disappear." John Lennon

Posted by fallinlove at 6:22 PM

0 Comments

Monday March 19, 2007

What is Right?

Going over in my head
What it is that feels so right
The morning hour comes in
Not even Mel wants to sleep with me tonight

It seems sleep just isn’t coming
No rescue for me now
My fate is rolling dice
If only you could peak, somehow.

I’m no future teller
But I know I’m going to hell
So young in life and yet
I’ve done wrong, and you can tell.

I want to say I’m sorry
I wish I could make it okay
At least to clear my conscience
So I could have a decent day

Nope, I don’t think sleep is coming
I’ll be up all night
But at least it gives me a chance
To try to make things right.

Posted by fallinlove at 1:21 AM

3 Comments

Tuesday March 27, 2007

Waiting

Sitting here lost in thought
Thinking life through
I have a goal in mind
I’m just not sure about you.

I know I won’t keep waiting
Not if you leave me again
I’ve been through this before
And I didn’t like it then.

I’m afraid to be alone
I need that someone that will listen
I’m alone now
And it’s you that my life’s missing

I know you had to do this for you
And a part of me can understand
But there’s a part of me
That needs you to be here to hold my hand.

It’s not the same without you
I’d so much rather have you here
But you’ll be gone so much…
I want to have you near.

I don’t want to have to wait
And that will be our downfall
As always in the end
It turns out I’m alone afterall.

Posted by fallinlove at 12:34 AM

1 Comments

Wednesday March 28, 2007

forever down

I’ve had another down day
I’m losing faith in fate
I’m beginning to give up
This life I’ve come to hate.

Everyone I know
Doesn’t know my pain
But do they know I’m unhappy
And going insane?

Of course they don’t
They’re all blind
Numb to emotion
Especially my kind.

I’m beginning to wonder
What it’s like to pass on
The thought is rather welcoming
To be forever gone…

Maybe all I need is a friend
But I happen to have none
The person I thought would be there for me
Is no longer my someone…

Maybe in the next life
If it’s truly so
There will be people who love me
And will never let me go.

All I want is to be happy
But it’s forever out of reach
And so the next time you see me
You’ll be hearing the preacher preach.

I can’t live like this
With no one to lean on
It sounds so much simpler
To just- be gone.

Posted by fallinlove at 10:03 PM

0 Comments

Wednesday March 28, 2007

Goodbye Friend

Friend, i am truly sorry
to be leaving you this way
but it seemed the perfect choice
when you struggle through everyday
i know there are those
whose problems are worse than mine
and eventually it all works out
you just have to give it time.
i have been told that i'm impatient
and it must be true
because i won't wait much longer
and then i will be leaving you

Posted by fallinlove at 10:51 PM

2 Comments

Friday March 30, 2007

how hard i try

staring at the ceiling
staring at the wall
it doesn't matter where i stare
it doesn't ease the pain at all.

trying to hold back tears
trying to hold in screams
it doesn't matter how hard i try
i'll still have shattered dreams.

no matter where i go
no matter who's around
the darkness still eats at me
until the real me can't be found.

no matter how fast i run
or how cleverly i hide
this sadness takes me over
because it's living deep inside.

it's been said you can control your life
but my life is controlling me
and no matter how hard i try
i can never be happy.

Posted by fallinlove at 9:44 PM

0 Comments

Friday March 30, 2007

Silently

Standing in a crowd
Happy people all around
No one notices
My tears falling to the ground.
Early on in life
I learned to cry in silence
Out loud or to yourself
There really is a difference.
Quietly you don’t have to explain
Or try to develve the
Depth of your pain
Out loud it makes people wonder
With their fake concern
When really they couldn’t care less
And guiltily they burn.
So oh so silently
I wallow for a while
Watching the happy people
And pasting on a smile.

Posted by fallinlove at 10:00 PM

12 Comments

Wednesday April 04, 2007

A Rose

"A relationship is like a rose, How long it lasts, no one knows Love can erase an awful past, Love can be yours, you'll see at last To feel that love, it makes you sigh, To have it leave, you'd rather die You hope you've found that special rose, 'Cause you love and care for the one you chose." Rob Cella

Posted by fallinlove at 11:23 AM

1 Comments

Wednesday April 04, 2007

Reason

I figured out my path in life
I have plans to make it there
Now instead of being nonchalant
I have reason to care.

I’m going to open a shelter
And save many animals lives
I’ll learn all I can about the business
Until my mind is sharp as knives.

I tried to end my life before
And then again and again
But I figured out I’m not supposed to die
Or the pills would have been the ones to win.

And so I’ll start my journey
On this path that leads to dreams
And hope this new found reason
Will forever silence silent screams.

Posted by fallinlove at 2:11 PM

6 Comments

Monday April 09, 2007

letting go

there's nothing i can do about the situation
you're already gone
but I'm finding difficulty
with finally moving on.

you were a major part of my life
and then you just weren't there
I know I've done some bad things
but God has been unfair.

I hope you know I miss you
and my love was really true
and so now comes the hard part
letting go of you.

Posted by fallinlove at 12:34 AM

1 Comments

Monday April 09, 2007

letting go

there's nothing i can do about the situation
you're already gone
but I'm finding difficulty
with finally moving on.

you were a major part of my life
and then you just weren't there
I know I've done some bad things
but God has been unfair.

I hope you know I miss you
and my love was really true
and so now comes the hard part
letting go of you.

Posted by fallinlove at 12:34 AM

4 Comments

Wednesday April 11, 2007

My Heart

my heart has been beaten, broken,
and has caused me many tears
it's been a burden and a blessing
throughout these past few years.

Shattered and scattered
I tried to pick up the pieces in vain
for my poor heart was only broke again
causing me all the more pain.

Through death and life surrounding me
my heart still beat a drum
reminding me that no matter how dark the night gets
the sun will always come.

Family and friends
loved ones close
it seems they are the ones
that hurt you the most.

My heart may still lie broken
my soul is forever scarred
my mind plays tricks on me
and i'm forever on guard

but i still have my heart
and it continues to beat
so no matter how bad things get
i won't find myself in defeat.

(i free wrote this, so it may not be very good...)

Posted by fallinlove at 5:55 PM

3 Comments

Saturday May 12, 2007

Lost Time

I'm tired of not knowing what i want
and wanting what's out of reach
all the confusion in my life is like
a blood sucking leech.
i'm always trying to run from the past
just get through today
while hiding from tomorrow
but pain catches up, saviors take the day off,
and all this misery is mine to borrow.
my life has turned to quicksand
the harder i fight to save it
the faster i sink.
there's been so much going on i keep
acting without having time to think.
lives have been ruined, dreams crushed
because my thoughts have scattered.
I've been walking through a fog and i couldn't
see i was destroying everything that ever really mattered.

Posted by fallinlove at 8:51 PM

1 Comments

Monday May 14, 2007

leaving me, leaving you

I thought I'd be walking home
With you by my side
But you left me at the stop sign
And that's where I sat and cried.
I don't understand why you're being this way
You won't explain it to me
You just yelled obscenely and threw away
all that we could someday be.
Maybe it's for the better
But I told you I would try
And now you're telling me
You want to say good bye.
Well I guess this is it then
I'm walking home alone
In my heart I should have knew
I'll always be on my own.

Posted by fallinlove at 8:38 PM

0 Comments

Monday May 14, 2007

Dying Love

Words can be fatal
But they don’t kill the soul
It’s from the heart that weighs heavy
From the pieces that you stole.
Actions can be deadly
A knife into my back
But none the more my twisting words
As I go on the attack.
Your love was an anchor
That helped to keep me here
Heaven help my bleeding heart
For it was not sincere.
But it’s my life, I won’t give up
Because you chose to lie
It’s my life, my shattered world
Ever since you said good-bye.
I will not fail but rise again
After the pain I’ve gone through
And when I do, of which I will
I owe it all to you.

Posted by fallinlove at 9:00 PM

2 Comments

Sunday May 20, 2007

Fallen

All alone
The world never knew
I was terribly lonely
Before I met you.
Like soulmates
Right away we clicked
I starved for your love
Knew I was an addict
And still I craved more
Could never have enough
Never even thought twice
About you calling my bluff.
I don’t know what I want
But I knew what I wanted
When you look into my eyes
Can you see they’re haunted?
Days I’d like to forget,
Nights engraved in memory
I took a leap of faith in love
Without a guarantee
I fell without my wings
And watched as you left me.

Posted by fallinlove at 8:34 PM

1 Comments

Wednesday January 03, 2007

memories

upon a shattered life
i sit in shambles
hearing the preacher
as he rambles
memories like movies
playing in my head
memories ill never live again
now that you're dead.
the coffin lid lays open
displaying you for the world to see
but no one else matters
because you meant the world to me.
the preacher quit talking
distant sobs break through the place
they're closing you in that box
never again will i see your face.
i hear someone yelling "no, no, please dont!"
it's me i hear, i tell them not to take you away
but they don't listen, they won't.
tears stream down my face
soaking into my skin
i know its time to say good-bye now
i know i'll never see you again
but i can't, it's too hard
i don't want to let go.
it's too late now.
i'm left with my memories
playing ever so slow...

Posted by fallinlove at 7:44 PM

0 Comments

Wednesday January 03, 2007

Irreversible

The voice in my head
says i need to move on
no matter what i do
he'll still be gone.
i cant raise the dead
i cant make him live again
i cant turn back time
this is the now and that was then.
nothing i can do
will allow me to hold him just one more time...
time has passed and he's still gone.
i listen to the CD i made for him
the one i never had a chance to give
I'm sure he'd like it
if only he could live.
and i know whoever is reading this
doesn't really know what to think
i feel as if Ive lost my soul
and my sanity is on the brink.
Ive lost someone i love
and its hard to live again, to just move on
i cant get past that I'm still alive,
and he's still gone.

Posted by fallinlove at 7:56 PM

1 Comments

Wednesday January 03, 2007

Core

Broken hearts and memories
torn photographs and realities
caring looks filled with sympathies
one too many missed opportunities...
days filled with struggles and pain
emotions impossible to explain
the things you shouldn't say but cant refrain
an empty shell where i remain
the girl next door that you ignore
scarred deep forever more
lost inside like never before
you'll never understand me at my core...

Posted by fallinlove at 8:01 PM

4 Comments

Sunday January 07, 2007

Still Here

Loneliness and sorrow
fill my heart whole
tears and pain
are apart of my soul
the memory of you
keeps me alive
when the last thing on my mind
is trying to survive.
its your hand that pumps my heart
when the beat is too far gone to find
its your words i hear inside
living in my mind.
you brought light to my world of dark
and helped me find my way out
you nodded like you understood
when you had no idea what i was talking about.
you held my hand
when i needed something to hold on to
i wouldn't be alive today
if it hadn't of been for you.
you were my savior when i needed saved
when my roads were rocky
you had them paved
I still feel your hand holding onto mine
I feel you with me even still
Its impossible to defineÃ¢?Â¦
Ill always have you with me inside
...even though you're dead
For me,
you never died.

Posted by fallinlove at 1:54 AM

5 Comments

Thursday January 25, 2007

Beaten Down

The world is beating me down again
i cant take it anymore
every time i think my head's held high
I'm back to crying into the floor.
Ive given everything i can
but its still not enough
its time for me to go now
this time its not a bluff.
Ive tried 3 times before
but this will be the one
what kept me alive before
is now over, I'm done.
and yet i still keep writing
still crying
i don't want to give up yet
but I'm so tired of trying...
it's me against the world this time
no one is here to stand beside me
I'm alone is this sea of tears
waiting for it to drown me, eventually.

Posted by fallinlove at 5:59 PM

1 Comments

Thursday January 25, 2007

Loss, Death, Depression

When you've lost yourself
How do you live?
How do you begin to find yourself
When you have nothing more to give?
How do you move on
After heartache and pain?
How do you live every day
And still remain sane?
One thing after another
And it all piles up
You can no longer push everything
To the back of your mind
And it tears you up.
You have no friends,
Nothing solid anymore
You've lost everything it seems
You yourself are not sure.
Life starts seeming like a distant memory
You forget how to survive
You eventually lose all love, all
Passion, all your drive
You lose yourself upon losing yourself
With no way to pick yourself up,
How do you live?

Posted by fallinlove at 6:04 PM

5 Comments

Monday January 29, 2007

Losing you

Staying up all night
sleeping all day
wishing this world
would just fade away
hiding beneath music
beneath tears of pain
always feeling loss
never able to gain
i might as well be dead
i might as well die
and as i breathe my last breath
and say my last good-bye
i will think of the things
i was never able to do
think of how it could have been
had i not lost you.

Posted by fallinlove at 9:50 PM

1 Comments

Monday January 29, 2007

Hurt (6-06)

I lay in bed
absorbing the loneliness that surrounds me
my eyes fill with unshed tears
contradicting my maturity
i hate showing weakness
hate feeling hurt
but i cant suppress these feelings
so i remain inert
i dont understand why this has to happen
dont want to accept that its true
my life is taking a turn
i feel as if I'm losing you
i hate having to say good-bye
hate coming to an end
hate the terrible emptiness
i have to comprehend
theres too many obstacles to over come
in a life too short for pain
and yet theres always been hurt in the world
and so it will remain

Posted by fallinlove at 9:52 PM

1 Comments

Poems from fallinlove

About fallinlove

Latest Poems by fallinlove

Alone

It's Hard

Damn Memory

Burning Love

Failure

Promises

Don't Leave

It's True

For All of Time

This Love is for Forever

Save Me

Save Me

Some Words

Together

Fade Away

Time

Storms

Questions

Alone in Darkness

i could sing

SoulMate

Okay

This isn't It

Forget It

Opposing

Tomorrow

a little wait

Over it

Dream

Vent

Take Me Away (4-06)

Retreating

Looking Back

Gone

Too Late

Mom

Mom (2)

Desolation (2006)

No One Knows

Death

There She Goes

day one

No one

Is It True?

Strength

Inside my head

Quote

What is Right?

Waiting

forever down

Goodbye Friend

how hard i try

Silently

A Rose

Reason

letting go

letting go

My Heart

Lost Time

leaving me, leaving you

Dying Love

Fallen

memories

Irreversible

Core

Still Here

Beaten Down

Loss, Death, Depression

Losing you

Hurt (6-06)