Jokes from narain2


About narain2

I am a Male and can speak Hindi, Bengali, Gujarati, Urdu and Spanish. At the age of 60+, I decided to write a few new things in life rather than computer program and games. I hope you would find it entertaining.

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Latest Jokes by narain2





Sunday December 23, 2007

Humorous Shayaris

1.
Muddat se dur the hum tum,

ek zamane ke baad milna achcha lagaa,

sagar se gehri lagi aapki dosti,

taairna toh aata tha magar doobna acha lagaa....

Contributed by - Hetal

2.
Dr Jis hospital ke hum doctor hai,

Meri patni waha ki nurse hai.

Kya ajeeb zulm sahna padta hai ,

Apni hi biwi ko sister kahna padta hai."

Contributed by - Amri Randhawa

3.
Khamos palko se beh kar jab ye ansu ate hai,

Aap kya jane aap kitne yaad aate hai.

Hum to aaj bhi us mod pe khade hai,

Jahan apne kaha tha,

thehro hum abhi aate hain.

Contributed by - Avinash

4.

har pathar par likh do i miss u

aur har pathar aapko maru

kam se kam aap ye to jaane

aapki yaad kitna dard deti hai.

Contributed by - airbase

Posted by narain2 at 11:40 AM
0 Comments

Friday November 30, 2007

Sex Quotes

* No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. Abraham Lincoln
* Sex without love is merely healthy exercise. Robert Heinlein
* Sex is emotion in motion. Mae West
* Sex relieves tension - love causes it. Woody Allen
* When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute. Author Unknown
* Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love. Butch Hancock
* Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. Mark Twain
* We all worry about the population explosion, but we don't worry about it at the right time. Arthur Hoppe
* Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. Woody Allen
* Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped. Author Unknown
* When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows. Frederike Ryder
* Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. Author Unknown
* I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. Jay McInerney
* An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets. Author Unknown
* To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it. Cary Grant
* I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.
Author Unknown

– Compiled by Aparna Chatterjee

Posted by narain2 at 12:18 PM
0 Comments

Monday April 23, 2007

Poor Engineers

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE ONE
********************************************************
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."


UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE TWO
********************************************************
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE THREE
************* *******************************************
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind
fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment then the pastor said, "That's so sad.
I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"


UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE FOUR
********************************************************
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.


UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE FIVE
********************************************************
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"


UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE SIX
********************************************************
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.
The last one said, "Actually it must have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"


UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE SEVEN
********************************************************
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features yet.


UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE EIGHT
********************************************************
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both." " Both?"
Engineer "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."


UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE NINE
********************************************************
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I 've told you I'm a
beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do
anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool

Posted by narain2 at 4:58 PM
1 Comments

Monday July 16, 2007

Kiss

The housewife used to watch the neighbor's wife giving a kiss to her husband every morning befor going to work. She thought it will be nice if her husband did it too. One day she asked her husband, "Would it not be nice for you to kiss a lady before going to work every morning?"
The husband thought for a while and said," Yes, it will be wonderful if the neighbor's wife would let him kiss everyday".

Posted by narain2 at 1:08 PM
0 Comments

Sunday September 23, 2007

e-baby

DADDY! HOW WAS I BORN?" Junior asks, His dad, who is a software engineer sighs and replies, "Ah, my son, I guess 1 day you wld hav 2 find out anyway!"

"Well, I saw ur Mom & I first got together in a chat room on YAHOO. Then I set up a date via e-mail with ur mom & v met at a cyber-cafe. v sneaked into a secluded room, where ur mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, v discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete button."

"Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self extracting file which had implanted itself in her BIOS. Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said 'u've Got Male"


An internet joke.

Posted by narain2 at 12:54 PM
1 Comments