Jokes from Lamboo


About Lamboo

I am the super cop of this site. Apnese no fanka please...

Skip Navigation Links.


Latest Jokes by Lamboo





Tuesday February 28, 2006

Marriage propasal to an Ad

Madam

I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Bangaloru. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.

I am a soiled son from inside Karnataka. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am p! laying hardly also. Especially I like cricket
and I am a good batter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay.

Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am.

I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want
you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do?

So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the gym.

If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very
badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon,

Yours and only yours

Posted by Lamboo at 8:21 PM
1 Comments

Thursday February 16, 2006

The mens sides of the story

We always hear "The Rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them bigger laughs

Posted by Lamboo at 9:10 PM
1 Comments

Friday January 06, 2006

Gandhijis reward in heaven

God asked Lal Bahadur Shastri how many children he had
during his time on earth. He replied saying he had three!

Happy with the relatively good family planning
adopted, God gave Shastri a Mercedes!

Subhash Chandra Bose is asked the same question.

When he replies he had 10 children, God is a bit upset
and gives him a cheaper car, the Ford.

Jawaharlal is next.

He decides to see what happens if he says he had 15
children, God is pretty angry and gives him an
inexpensive Maruti.

Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning
on foot.

They ask why God hadn't given him anything.

Gandhiji replied with anger,
"Some idiot told God that I was the FATHER OF THE NATION!"

Posted by Lamboo at 1:16 PM
3 Comments