Jokes from narain2


About narain2

I am a Male and can speak Hindi, Bengali, Gujarati, Urdu and Spanish. At the age of 60+, I decided to write a few new things in life rather than computer program and games. I hope you would find it entertaining.

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Latest Jokes by narain2





Saturday December 31, 2005

Oh God !

Three friends were talking about their profession. The first one said, " I am a volunteer at a charity. I feed the hungry, I shelter people from bad weather, I distribute blankets and some money. Most of the people think that I am a minister from a church."

The second friend said, " I am a Doctor. I save people from diseases, provide money to charities, I even save people from dying. Most of the people in my church think that I am an Angel."

The third friend said, " I am a salesman. Whenever I knock at the doors, people say Oh God you are back again".

Posted by narain2 at 9:12 PM
0 Comments

Friday October 28, 2005

What is marriage?

1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).


2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.


3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.



4. Marriage is a three-ring circus engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.


5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.


6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.


7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.


8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking the husband gives and the wife takes.


9. Son How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.



10. Son Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!


11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.


12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love after marriage it is self-defense.


13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.


14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.


16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.


17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.


18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but they still stay together.


19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.


20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.


21. I married Miss right I just didn't know her first name was Always.


22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.


23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.


24. A man was complaining to a friend I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.


25. WIFE Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway
lighs on.


26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.


27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.


28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.


29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.



30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

These all is being spread by those

who don't wanna marry else,

Marriage is one of the best

happenings in some-one's life

Posted by narain2 at 7:39 PM
0 Comments

Friday July 01, 2005

Children and the church 1

A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.

"How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said.

"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said
4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

Posted by narain2 at 10:48 PM
0 Comments

Friday July 01, 2005

Christian home !

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.

His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"

Posted by narain2 at 10:49 PM
0 Comments

Friday July 01, 2005

God made us!

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek.

She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."

"Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"

Posted by narain2 at 10:52 PM
1 Comments

Wednesday October 05, 2005

Clock

At our work place, we always stare at a wall clock which is usually five to ten minutes late. One morning, the clock had the right time.
Everyone wondered what had happened. One person asked, "Do you see any change in the clock"?
Our jovial lead replied,"The clock changes every second".

Posted by narain2 at 6:29 PM
0 Comments

Saturday June 11, 2005

Soulmate Requirements

After few dates, it was time for the lady to describe her future soulmate.

1. He would be sharing and affectionate.
2. He should provide all the independence I want.
3. He should be a low maintenance guy.

The man thought for a while and came up with his reply,
1. I will be certainly share my love and affection with you and others(not the kids but with other women).
2. Independence is guaranteed if you spend your own money for all your shopping,
3. You will make breakfast, lunch and dinner. Keep the house in order. You will take care of the kids. I do not need any maintenance

Posted by narain2 at 6:28 PM
2 Comments

Saturday June 11, 2005

Romantic Interlude

On the honeymoon night, the couple are taking a breather from their romance.

The poetic husband John cites a poem, " you are my Love, you are my Hope, you are my Dreams, and you are all I have in this world".

The wife Kim replies, " you are my Larry, you are my Harry, you are my Dave and they were the all I had in my world".

Posted by narain2 at 12:13 PM
0 Comments

Friday May 20, 2005

Happy Birthday!

A five year old receivs a birthday greetng cards from his uncle. The card said "Sorry Tommy ! We got little late in wishing you a happy 6th birthday."
The uncle gets a thank you card from the boy with a note. "Uncle, your are not late at all. I am still celebrating my 5th birthday"

Posted by narain2 at 6:10 PM
0 Comments

Saturday June 18, 2005

Nudist colony


The husband, wife and the five year old son in the family nudist colony. After the initial shock of nudes running around, they go to the beach of the resort.

The wife lays down in the sand for the tan of her life. Husband takes a leave to mingle around. The boy goes out near the water and plays with the sand.

After a while boy comes to Mom and asks, "why some of the women have bigger chest than you?".

Mom replies, "they are dumb".

The boy goes back and plays for a while, then comes back with another question, "why some of the men have bigger thing than Dad?

Mom replies, " They are dumber".

The boy goes out and plays for a while. He comes back after awhile and tells Mom,

"Dad is talking to a dumb Blonde and he is getting dumber".

Posted by narain2 at 1:23 PM
1 Comments

Sunday June 19, 2005

Right surgery

In old days, a youg newly married couple in early teens were together for the first time.

The guy did not know how to do it. The first place he found was the belle button. He kept on doing it on the belle button. The girl got tired of this.

One night she put some ghee(oil) from belle button to the real place. The guy came and started from the belle button and slipped into the real place.

He jumped up and cried, " I cut up my wife's stomach".

He runs out to the local doctor. Doctor listens to his problem and tells him,

"Don't worry. You did the right surgery. Go back and stick to the new place."

Posted by narain2 at 7:05 PM
0 Comments

Tuesday June 21, 2005

Old Athelete !

The 95 year old Kozo Haraguchi ran 100 meters in a rainy day in 22.04 secs.

After the race he told the
reporters,

"It was the first time for me to run in rain. I kept thinking to myself that I should not slip before crossing the finish line. As long as I heard the crowd cheering, I knew that I have not fallen down yet."

Posted by narain2 at 9:51 PM
0 Comments