Jokes from Lamboo


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I am the super cop of this site. Apnese no fanka please...

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Latest Jokes by Lamboo





Friday September 10, 2004

Scientific Capability

So once three scientists american, japanese, and pakistani are discussing their nation's scientific capability.

The american says, "In our country there was this boy who lost his legs in an accident, and we put artificial ones, and today u know hes an olympic gold medalist!"

So the japnese laughs and says, "This is nothing.in our nation there was this boy who lost his hands and legs in accident and we put artifical ones, and today u know, hes karate champion!"

Now the paki laughs and says, "These are nothing, in our nation there was this boy who had no brains, and so we put a coconut in his head, and today u know...... he is the 'Military ruler of pakistan!"

Posted by Lamboo at 11:27 AM
4 Comments

Wednesday July 14, 2004

Doctor's Orders

A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office.

"Is it true,"

the woman wanted to know,

"that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life"?

"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the woman continued,
"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition. This prescription is marked

'NO REFILLS.'"

Posted by Lamboo at 2:05 PM
0 Comments

Monday April 12, 2004

Cork In The Ass (x Rated)

Two guys are in a locker room when one notices the other has a cork up his ass. He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass?"

The other guy says, "I was walking along the beach and tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a Big Fella in a turban came oozing out. He said, "I am Tonto, Indian Genie. I can grant you one wish."

And I said, "No shit."

Posted by Lamboo at 7:12 AM
3 Comments

Sunday May 30, 2004

Popular Brands Of Condoms

Nike Condoms Just do it.

Toyota Condoms Oh what a feeling.

Diet Pepsi Condoms You got the right one, baby.

Pringles Condoms Once you pop, you can't stop.

Mentos Condoms The freshmaker.

Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack Ten million strong and growing.

Secret Condoms Strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman.

Macintosh Condom It does more, it costs less, it's that simple.

Ford Condoms The best never rest.

Chevy Condoms Like a rock.

Blockbuster condoms Go home happy.

Dial Condoms Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?

New York Lotto Condoms Cause hey - you never know.
California Lotto Condoms Who's next?

Subway condoms The way a sandwich should be.

Avis Condoms Trying harder than ever.

KFC Condoms Finger-Licking Good.

Coca Cola Condoms Always the Real Thing

Maxwell House condoms Good to the last drop.
Lays Condoms Betcha can't have just one.

Campbell's Soup Condoms Mmm, mmm, good.

General Electric Condoms We bring good things to life!

AT&T Condoms Reach out and touch someone.

America Online Condoms No wonder it's number one!

Bounty Condoms The quicker picker upper.

Microsoft Condoms Where do you want to go today?

Energizer Condoms It keeps going and going and going....

M&M condom It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!

Taco Bell Condoms Get some make a run for the border.

MCI Condoms For friends and family.

Doublemint Condoms Double your pleasure, your fun!

Big Red condoms Make it last a little longer.

The Sears latex condom One coat is good for the entire winter.

Delta Airlines Condoms travel pack Delta is ready when you are.

United Airlines Condoms travel pack Fly United.

The Star Trek Condom To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before.

Southwestern Airlines condoms Friends fly free.

Verizon Wireless We never stop working for you.

Posted by Lamboo at 11:10 AM
1 Comments

Wednesday July 14, 2004

The Test

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."

The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to
shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy.

1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the
ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?"

The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

Posted by Lamboo at 2:02 PM
0 Comments

Monday July 12, 2004

Terrorist Alert

Recently we have received credible intelligence that
there have been seven terrorists working in your office.

Fortunately, six of the seven have been apprehended.
Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, Bin Goofin, Bin Lunchin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Behind-Kissin have all been taken into custody.

At this time, no one fitting the description of the seventh cell member, Bin Workin, has been found at your office.

We are confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot.

You are OBVIOUSLY not a suspect at this time.

Posted by Lamboo at 9:45 AM
0 Comments

Wednesday January 07, 2004

The Surd And The Muggers

A Surd was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued.

His attackers then proceeded to go through his pockets. "You mean you fought like that for 57 paise?" asked one of the muggers increduously.

"Is that all you wanted?" moaned the Surd.

"I thought you were after the 400 Rupees in my shoe!"

Posted by Lamboo at 10:47 PM
0 Comments

Wednesday January 07, 2004

Slow Driver

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"

So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five Sikhs - two in the front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts.

The driver Santa Singh, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Sir," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...

Twenty-Two miles an hour!" Santa says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, Santa grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out his error.

"But before I let you go, Sir, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? these people seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep
this whole time." the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119." Said Santa.

Posted by Lamboo at 10:46 PM
3 Comments

Wednesday March 31, 2004

Mirror Mirror (xrated)

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust-line forty-four".

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excited, she runs to tell her husband what happened.

A few minutes later, they both return to the bathroom. This time, the husband crosses his fingers and says, "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!"

Again, there is a bright flash and... both his legs fall off.

Posted by Lamboo at 6:59 AM
2 Comments