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Thursday July 12, 2001

Top 15 Best Lies To Tell On Your Resume

1. Great attention to detlais.

2. I was the webmaster for the National Security
Administration intranet.
(I can't show you my work - it's classified.)

3. Patented Inventions Three (the nature of which
cannot be disclosed due to the Atomic Energy Act of 1954,
as amended).

4. Programming Languages Clock, VCR, VCR+.

5. Speak COBOL, lived there for years.

6. "I'm a real team player" or "I enjoy working with others.
" Leave out, "but only if I'm team captain" and "despite
their obvious inferiority."

7. I tell people I was in prison to avoid admitting some
of the places I used to work.

8. Your CPA test results. Nobody but you really knows
what the score was since all the board ever publishes is
who passes.

9. 10 years experience with Java.

10. I once said I used to work for Lucille Ball.

11. I worked for three companies that no longer exist.
As I recall, I was on the really fast track.

12. "I want to work in a team-building environment that
will allow me expand on the skills I have learned, while
providing the best service for employer, customers,
and my team."

13. My body converts toxic waste into penicillin,
and I invented wool.

14. "Dealt with U.S. tax and tariff laws in
importation process"...we "dealt " with them by sticking
our product in a giant duffel bag and not
telling customs.

15. I like my current job. I am leaving to get new challenges.

Posted by sebastian at 3:05 PM
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